I’m Sick
I don’t know what it is about today. I’m feeling really down. I have this impending sense of doom lingering over my thoughts today.
I feel like I am pregnant. But I also feel like this one will be just like the last one.
I’m feeling swamped at home. I’m so sick of having to everything – I work too!
I’m sick of feeling like nobody wants anything to do with me. I’m sick of not having IRL friends that I see often… you know, more than once a month.
I’m sick of spending all my time either working or doing chores.
I’m sick of every girl I know being PG – and they didn’t even have to “try” to get knocked up.
I’m sick of living in this town.
I’m sick of being so lonely.
I’m sick of my body.
….I’m just sick. And tired. And what I really need right now is to go home, curl up in bed, and cry.
i feel your pain. all i can do is commiserate and send you hugs..
Hi Erin,
If I say, “I feel your pain,” you may not believe me. Well, honestly, I do, on about everything you said. You being pregnant should “shake those blues.” Please, don’t think the same thing will happen because that would be A HUGE COINCIDENCE. Don’t you think? I mean, what are the chances of that happening, again? I really doubt that very much!
I know what you mean about these young girls, without a thought-process about how they will raise, support financially, and just BE PARENTS
OOPS, I don’t know how that happened! UGH! Anyway, these pregnant, young girls thinking that having a baby will be fun, makes me angry because inevitably, (sp?) the “cycle” will continue indefinitely. UGH! I really don’t want or like to judge, so I guess I’ll just say that I’m posting my opinion. I mean, I know everybody has the choice to live how they want, and who am I to say that their way isn’t correct, but when I look at one of my relatives, I get VERY SAD. She, at barely 18, got pregnant because “noone loved her,” and she was seeking to fill that void. She was instantly put on public assistance. She has the most beautiful, precious little boy, and he deserves way better! If that’s not enough, she got pregnant with “boy number two”, at 19. When I asked her if she tried to get pregnant with this one, who’s now six months old, and a cutey, too, she said, “well, no, but I didn’t really care if I did.” What? Now, I would say that, minus the financial stability, she’s the ALLEGED equivalent of Britney you-know-who. Are you familiar with Hollywood? I hope you know who I’m referring to, and I say ALLEGED because we don’t REALLY know what kind of mother she, B.S., is. Do we? We can’t believe everything we read, but, at the same time, there has to be SOME truth to what’s going on, and I have my opinions on that, too.
Anyway, I managed to write a short story, and I really didn’t mean to. Erin, I would like to put my picture in the “AVATAR” (sp?) frame, but I don’t know how to do that. I only recently became very interested in the computer, the Internet, and the “in’s n’ out’s” of everything. I’m learning everyday. I would like a face to my writings, if you know what I mean. Maybe I’ll try to send you a letter, with an “attachment picture” of me in it…Oh, I don’t know…I better go, but I hope you feel better. I know everything will work out for you.
Peace,
Brooke
Brooke, I appreciate all your comments.
And as for the avatar photo you want to put up… all you have to do is click on “My Account” (located at the top left here, in a blue bar) Then on “Edit Profile”. It will let you browse for a photo, select it, crop it as you see fit and there you have it! Let me know how you make out with it.
Dude.
I don’t really know what to say, but as one of those IRL friends that you don’t see enough, it’s not because we don’t want to see you.
It’s simply that we suck at getting together with people – we kind of busy-bee our lives and sort of forget other people exist until we bump into them or they get ahold of us.
Anyway – this is an invitation. To do what I don’t know exactly, but we’re going to be cleaning out the impending nursery this weekend. If the idea of coming over while we do that doesn’t make you feel more doom and gloom (yeah, I know we’re the preggo w/o working at it people too…) then you’re welcome to come along, with or without DH.
And if you’d like us to drop by, well, let me know when – it can be arranged.
I don’t know what else to say, other than meaningless platitudes that you’ll just razz me about, so um, that’s about it.
Feel better, mkay?
Jeff, I’m a freakin’ mess and for reasons unknown to me your comment made me cry. I don’t want you to ever feel like I resent you and Sam because you got pregnant so easily. I love you guys.
I resent myself for not keeping my baby alive. Seriously… that’s my issue. And I’ve been so horribly depressed about the whole thing that I haven’t even known what to do with myself.
This weekend DH & I are going apartment hunting. If we find something, I’ll be frantically packing the rest of the weekend. If not, I’m sure we’ll swing by.
Thanks for being your wicked cool self.
I know you don’t resent us. However, I worry that it might be the sort of thing where depending on your mood it might press a button, so to speak. Not us, but that our situation was so easy. I don’t know how to compare it – but I do know how you feel.
I also know that you know that you didn’t fail to keep your baby alive. But knowing, and knowing, are two different things.
I’ve been to the depressed end of the pool – and almost done some stupid things. I know how what seems logical when you’re depressed is *so not* when you aren’t.
I worry about you…no, that’s not wrong, I worry for you. If that makes any sense. I feel this sort of….ache where I wish I could help but I worry that anything I say will make you feel worse – I can’t explain it.
Anyway – speaking for both of us, Sam and I love your company. You as in you, and you as in your family. I wouldn’t be friends with your DH after all these years if I didn’t I guess.
You’re always welcome in our home – no matter what for. And if you guys do make it sometime this weekend, awesome. We have a new phone number for home, I’ll give it to you privately.
Do you guys by chance like SceneIt? The DVD movie trivia game thingamajig that I got Sami for Christmas?